Do you like to please people? Indeed, I was! Pleasing people was one of my bad habits in school. When I was younger, and even into adulthood, I thought people wouldn't want me if they didn't need me.

So, I made an effort to be all-important. Because of how ingrained my pleasing habit was, I was always sacrificing myself in all my relationshipsat work and home.

Look at the devastation it caused to my relationships no matter if they were romantic, emotional, or whatever!

I have discovered that if I tend to put myself on a pedestal instead of my partner, the outcome is always the same: it causes an argument between us.

So, in this situation, what should you do instead? Keep reading to find out more about relationships 101: people-pleasing and pedestalling!

What is People Pleasing and Pedestaling?

So, what exactly is a people-pleaser? My full-time mask was to keep others happy and to please them. How come? To gain favour!! To keep things peaceful! And more importantly, to prevent the boat from swaying metaphorically.

My relationship was one-sided: people were grateful for my generosity, and I gave them time and favours.

I just thought it was the way the world was. Therefore, I never even considered investigating what was wrong in my relationships.

I was always overcommitted, stressed out, hurried, and worn out from never saying no to anyone. Unfortunately, I was inconsolable.

Then, one day, I became aware of a pattern throughout my life: Resentment. The most common reaction to my generosity was resentment and bitterness.

So, if you are someone with this mindset, then these are your signs of people-pleasing.

The Benefits and Consequences of Self-Love and Self-Sufficiency

I experienced a strange emotion that overcame me: delight. I started to get new ideas in my head, like what it would be like to surround myself with independent, imaginative, gregarious, and interesting people.

• What if they thought I was important and even pushed me to improve?
• How would my life be if I made decisions based on my truth rather than letting other people dictate what I should do?
• A fresh door opened.
• Enter yourself through the door to liberation.

People-pleasers in Relationships: The Drawbacks for All Those Who Do Too Much Pleasing

Let's examine the drawbacks of excessive people-pleasing and pedestaling. It is hard for someone to be recognized or to learn how to love them if they cannot be truthful about what they would like in relationships, what they feel in a conversation, or what makes them happy.

Dishonest or incomplete interactions undermine trust and connection because they only convey parts of the truth. Those partnerships need to be genuine. Everything that results from someone hiding who they are is likewise a lie.

Regarding contribution, if an individual is not reaching their full potential due to their views, desires, and behaviours being dictated by others (or selected to avoid disagreement with someone else), society is deprived of their abilities, skills, and potential contributions that could benefit everyone.

Is It Alright to Give Up Trying to Please Everyone?

At this point, you might be thinking about how to stop people pleasing. The initial stage is awareness if you want to start prioritizing yourself and altering how you interact with others.

Thus, it is essential to begin hesitating before agreeing to anything. Before committing to someone, take stock of your needs and desires.

Understanding what we want and don't want is fantastic, but figuring out how to attain it is where we often need help.

How are we going to change?

Understanding the barriers to our aim is essential for effective change. Let's identify the potential problems for you and provide you with workable fixes and doable steps!

Appreciating Parity in Your Relationship: Five Pointers

I think that treating people equally in relationships is essential. Does the value of your viewpoint vary? Are you able to communicate unpleasant emotions and receive bad feedback?

Do both partners show love and generosity? Is there one person who possesses more power?

Put these questions to yourself and prioritize the following actions to make sure you're treating each other equally in your relationships:

Listen to One Another

It is right that you both express your thoughts and allow the other to hear you. Disagreements, significant talks, and even casual chats must ensure you're both essential components of your partnership.

Enjoy and Share Similar Hobbies

Because of this, you adore spending time with your mate and are in a relationship. However, quality time together usually becomes increasingly scarce as a relationship develops. You must make time for each other and pursue your shared interests. It will improve that connection and establish equality in your relationship.

Look for Unusual Hobbies

Since we are all different, there's a good chance that you and your partner have some other hobbies. Thus, cherish your ones together, but don't be afraid to pursue your hobbies alone. Maintain the balance of power by allowing each other that freedom.

Discuss and Decide on the Allocation of Costs

Although discussing money is unpleasant for most people, you and your spouse must have similar financial goals. Do you feel okay with who foots the bill? Is your significant other? We should investigate these crucial questions collectively.

Show Respect to Your Partner, Yourself, and Your Partnership

Finally, remember to respect your relationship, yourself, and your significant other above everything else. You'll probably be able to practice equality and maintain a healthy relationship once you adopt your golden rule.

Conclusion

That's all you need to know about Relationships 101: people-pleasing and pedestalling and what causes people-pleasing! A claim like "I can't live without you" should never go unanswered.

It's crucial to find out what your significant other meant when they said, "I can't live without you," if that is what they said. Whats more, you must comprehend the motivations behind their statements.

They frequently don't give any thought to what they say. Their opinions are commonly shaped by what they learn from others, popular culture, motion pictures, and hormones.

Now, youre all hopefully aware of people-pleasing and pedestaling and be able to get out of it!